It’s All in the Cards: Finding myself in the Tarot

I’ve never been much into spirituality or religion, but I am a faithful believer when it comes to psychology and cosmic energy. I believe in destiny and that everything happens for a reason. So it did not seem coincidental when, as Jeremy and I were deciding the fate of our relationship, I was asked to have my cards read.

Now, I don’t know the full history behind tarot card readings, but I do know that they can be a powerful tool for personal growth and insight. Sounds like exactly what I’ve been needing? Yes, I think so too.

After several minutes of shuffling the cards and rubbing all the bodily energy I could muster into the deck, I revealed, in an overlapping sequence, the series of pictures and words that would explain my inner and outer realities.

My first cards: Letting Go, Guilt, New Visions, Mind. Guilt and Mind placed to represent my universe, and Letting Go and New Visions placed to signify my present. I then chose three more; Going With The Flow, Stress, and Rebirth, were laid on top. As I lay them, Going With The Flow created a link between Letting Go and New Visions. Stress touched the corner of each first card. Rebirth lay on Guilt and Mind. Then two more on top of those: The Source and Trust. Finally, I was asked to choose a final card and place it over the center. The Creator. Completely covering Stress.

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We talked for half an hour. She, interpreting with fascination and excitement, I, listening eagerly and asking questions. The cards were so spot on, that her words could not have been more painfully true. It felt as if she was handing me a roadmap to my life, with the “you are here” star highlighted in red. In 30 minutes this woman gave me the exact tools I was looking for to start building myself a better path. Eleven little cards, but a powerful, more positive way of thinking.

This is what she said (in a nutshell):
I need to start letting go. Let go of being in control. Let go of the outcome. Only when I can start letting go, will I create something new, and if I go with it, it will be the right thing. Because it is letting go and going with the flow that will lead me to new growth and to the rebirth of myself. I am the source, I am the creator of everything I need. The only thing stopping me is my mind. I need to learn to trust myself. I need to learn to trust others. My ability to let go and realize my true, creative potential is inhibited by guilt and mind games. When I get stuck inside my own head, over thinking, over rationalizing, over analyzing, I prevent myself from letting go, from going with the flow, from discovering new growth, from finding happiness. You must let go now, she said, because there is a major transformation on your horizon. She explained how going with the flow will lead me to a better place. A place of many colors, a place of richness. For a glimpse into the future, she asked me to pull one last card, the Postponement card. Again, she reminded me of the clouds that block my ability to relinquish control and go with the flow. Yet though I am surrounded by these clouds in my mind, a more colorful future is in sight. It will not be discovered immediately. It may be years before I truly become the person I am meant to be, but it will happen. There remains a vision of something new, something brighter, to come.

In the end, she left me a several parting gifts. Advice to focus on, based on the words the cards had just spoken.

1. Be as you are, not as other see you to be. I can acknowledge the opinions and feelings of others, but I should not be plagued by the guilt or stress of trying to appease others. Allow myself to be who I am meant to be, and it will be brilliant.

2. Trust your intuition. I already have everything I need to lead a full and happy life, it’s just a matter of realization. Once I learn to trust myself completely, I will only ever choose what’s right for me.

3. Let go of the outcome. Being in constant control keeps you in isolation and inevitably leads to disappointment. The less I try to control the outcome of every situation, I more I will be able to enjoy it.

4. Get out of your head by talking yourself into the present. I can stop over thinking an issue by observing my present surroundings. Notice the space, the colors, the objects, the sounds. Live in the world, not in your mind, and go with the flow.

5. Ask for help or let someone help you everyday. We all give and receive in this life. When I allow myself to receive, I am granting another the gift of giving. Participating in the circle of giving and receiving will remove me from isolation and help me to trust others.

6. Set goals, but expect changes, and accept them openly as they come. Everything that happens, happens as it should.

7. Speak to be understood. We are not all created equal when it comes to communication. A strong-minded person like myself is not easily understood by others. People will not appreciate the true meaning of my thoughts, actions, words or perspective if communicated to them in a way that is foreign. I must know the person to whom I speak, and speak to them directly.

I knew before the reading that I have a lot of personal growth to accomplish over the next several years. I want to grow into a kinder, more accepting person. I want to grow into a more valued and intelligent adult. I want to grow and strengthen my relationships with honest love and communication. I am thankful for this reading for introducing me to a new tool and a new way of thinking. If I can sustain this outlook, this perspective, perhaps it will help me get to where I want to be. After all, I have all the power, know-how, and energy I need to reveal this amazing person inside me. Maybe it really is as simple as letting go.

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